Unknown Screenwriter Killed

 

Newswire: Los Angeles 10:05 AM

 

This morning on the 405 freeway a blacked out green 93 Buick was driving erratically on the north bound lane.

 

At some point the vehicle in question cut off a 2007 Yellow Hummer, with
California vanity plate UNK, forcing the driver to exit the freeway. The Buick also exited and proceeded to follow the Hummer into a nearby parking lot.

 

The driver of the Buick got out, went over to the Hummer dragging the driver out onto the ground.

 

Eyewitness accounts say that an argument quickly ensued and eventually led to the assailant getting into the Hummer and running over its driver…repeatedly. The assailant then exited the Hummer and defaced it by spray painting a message onto the vehicle.

 

Police responded to the scene and arrested a man only to be identified as Tabre.

 

Tabre’s only statement was “I done da wurld a fava by getten rid of of dis hack ass screenwriter muhfucka”

 

Tabre was charged with reckless driving, manslaughter, destroying property and resisting arrest.

 

Apparently he refused to be arrested because he needed to go home and watch SMOKIN’ ACES because “it jes gets betta evry time I watch it”

 

The identity of the victim is still unknown.

 

When paramedics asked the unknown screenwriter for his name. He was only able to utter out with his last dying breath, “ If I tell you who I am, I’ll have to kill you”

 

jsg

 

JSG COMMENT: I am happy to announce that this rumor of the unknown screenwriter’s death has been greatly exaggerated and will now fall into urban internet myth. Tabre however is in jail and soon to become someone’s bitch.