In very upsetting breaking news, Nick Counter, spokesman for the AMPTP, due to believed heart failure, underwent emergency surgery this morning at Cedars-Sinai.
Because of the AMPTP’s long history of equating…those with the most money are the best suited for being in charge and decision making…they have replaced the current world renown heart specialist Lars-Yorg Peters with an average striking writer they grabbed off the picket line, who as the AMPTP has asserted “makes more than a Surgeon”
When the hi-jacked writer was asked if he felt he was qualified to perform the surgery he replied “Sure…why not? I almost sold a spec Horror feature this past summer.’
Unfortunately, after seven hours under the knife, there seems to be a complication. Our protaganist writer and his emergency staff have not been able to locate Nick Counter’s heart.
No donors have yet to be found in the AMPTP.
Due to the obnoxious sobbing and gut wrenching moaning of Tom Short, President of the IATSE, in the emergency waiting room…all visitors have been barred from the hospital.
In lieu of flowers or candy, it has been requested that money be donated to Les Moonves new salary package.
jsg
